Ramblings on HELP

February 25, 2010

Recently I have been thinking about HELP.

I believe, or at least would like to believe, that pretty much everyone wants to help. The issues as I see them are, when and how much.

A long time ago I heard something to the effect that “a gift is not a gift unless it is received”. That, to me, seems like there is an implied responsibility on the part of the gifted, or giftee, if there is such a word. The recipient has some sort of an obligation to respond to the gift giver, or giftor, if that is indeed a word. Perhaps in way of a “thanks, just what I needed”, or “you shouldn’t have, but I’m glad you did”. Some sort of recognition. At least that is what I was taught. And it had to be nice. I wasn’t allowed to say something snotty like “oh, what is it?” Or rude like “I don’t like the color”. I had to show my appreciation, positively. Even if I didn’t know what it was or the color was something that I would not wear. Ever.

I don’t quite know how to do this, but I would like to shift from “I” to a global/generic “YOU”. So here goes.

If you consider help as a gift, then the same rules apply. You are obliged to accept help from anyone offering it, if for no other reason than to not offend them. And you have to be nice about it. Same reason.

“Here, let me help you with the dishes”, or “I’ll get that for you”. Sometimes help is appreciated, needed, expected, and wanted, and sometimes it is not.

I remember a time when I was at the Intervale emptying the leaves from my truck bed. It was my third trip that day and I was not enjoying myself. I heard this voice behind me saying “I’ll give you a hand with those”. I guess I temporarily forgot my training and turned to the voice and said “thanks, but, no thanks. You help me, then I have to help you, and I am sick of doing this”. I had insulted the guy, and then felt sorry that I refused his offer. As it turns out, I found out afterward, that the guy is a neighbor and that he and I are in the same boat club. We have since worked on many projects together. Nothing has ever been said regarding  the Intervale incident. Perhaps he has forgotten. I haven’t. I owe him an apology.

Over the years I have modified the giftee/giftor rule. I find now that each instance will stand on it’s own merit. The default is to accept. That is, if there is not the luxury of time to think or consider, then, yes! But if the situation is such that you can take the time to consider, to give thought, to reason, to suspect, then the answer will be apparent. It will be the right thing to do.

Next on my reading list is by Philip Hallie Lest Innocent Blood Be Shed

Ramblings

March 26, 2008
 Took a trip with a friend to visit a canoe/guide boat builder a bit south of here yesterday. Interesting to get a first hand look at their construction techniques. Learned a few things that I think will be useful in maintaining my own boat. The venture also prompted me to take a few photos which I will include at the end. Today is bright and temps are a reasonable fortyish, almost spring like. Guess I should push myself away from this keyboard and play outside for a while. (snow predicted for the weekend …..ech).
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Some of my toys
Some of my toys

Ramblings

March 20, 2008

Apparently all things are relative. For instance, a father and son tossing a ball back and forth to each other is not a particularly fantastic event, although it is fun. The ball travels at a speed of perhaps 20 mph. from son to father, and about 15 mph. from father to son (I’m the father and older as well as slower). That’s what we see, as well as anyone else on the same platform. However, if the platform we’re on is moving at 60 mph, an observer not on the platform sees something quite different. He would see the ball traveling about 75 – 80 mph. So what has this to do with anything? I think that it has to do with the perspective with which we see events around us. Sometimes we need to step back, get off the platform, and take a look from a different vantage point to, and possibly, improve our outlook. It can’t hurt.

  

sunrise4-131.jpg

Ramblings

March 13, 2008

Since this is my first attempt at a blog I have no idea what I’m doing. But like most other things I’ve done in my life, I’ll just throw it out and see what sticks.

Weather is something we all talk about and no one seems to be able to do anything about, (global warming excluded) but in lovely downtown Vermont we were recently blessed with a rain/snow, read ice storm, event this past weekend. Here it is Thursday and there are still ice-cycles adorning the tree branches and Easter is only a week away! I for one am getting mighty sick of this!!! So what to do? I got on the Internet and started looking for a relocation area in NC. Roots are still here in the East and Florida is a nice place to visit, but we already have too many friends (snowbirds included) there. Stay tuned as to the continuing saga.